You know when people talk about the whole “emotional rollercoaster” thing.
I’m literally riding up front with no barrier.
After a morning of absolute hell and bad news I found myself cornered in the hallway, torturing myself with a million different scenarios as I was being repeatedly told “it’s going to be ok”
As far as I was concerned, it wasn’t going to be ok. That was it..
After laying drained and lifeless on the decking I realised just how tiny I am. I’m on one point surrounded by so much land and space, so many different people and places and I had already decided that the days that follow this day are worth fuck all and that every minute that follows is hopeless and miserable.
After some self reasurance and a little bit of a mood lift after realising the world is fucking huge and I can’t let one little speck ruin my whole life….I was then given more bad news and quite frankly, I don’t know what to do. I really fucking don’t.
As much as I’m trying to pick myself back up there’s another hit coming my way. I’ve never felt so confused and scared